Saturday, September 3, 2011

Pizza Night

So last night was Tuesday. I usually don't keep track of that anymore, but it was kind of significant this time. You see, back before the zombie apocalypse, Tuesday night was my pizza night. I would go out with the same two guys I'd gone out with every Tuesday since 1989 and we'd get a pizza and some ridiculously unhealthy appetizer (the bacon cheddar fries were my personal favorite) and we'd shoot the breeze and complain about life and why everyone else was stupider than we were and if people would just listen to us the world would be such a great place...You know the routine. Anyway, a lot of us here have pizza high on our list of things we miss, and since it appears our group isn't going to be together much longer, I thought it would be cool to have a pizza night for my new group of friends.

So to make this miracle happen, I have been secretly squirreling away supplies when we've gone on foraging runs. The crust was easy--we've got plenty of flour, salt, oil, and even yeast (we've been experimenting with baking bread). Over the last few weeks, I've picked up a few cans of pizza sauce and lots and lots of parmesan and romano cheese (the only cheese I can find that doesn't seem to need refrigeration and lasts more than a few months). Yesterday was the day I put it all together, using the expertise I learned during my early days as a master pizza chef. Okay, I was a line cook for Pizza Hut, but at least I knew the basics. I took it all out back and grilled it and we gathered to have our first (and possibly last) pizza night as a group.

It sucked. Without a doubt the worst pizza I've ever had in my life. I don't know if the ingredients had gone bad if if you just can't make pizza with those cheeses, but UGH. So in case this blog is really being received in 2011, I need somebody to buy like 100 frozen pizzas, preferably from Villa D' Carlo in Kenosha, Wisconsin or Quonset Pizza in Waukegan, Illinois, pack them in ice, put them in some sort of solar powered freezer, and leave them where I am sure to find them after the zombie apocalypse hits. If I can find an old newspaper maybe I'll post some winning lottery numbers or something so you can afford to do it.

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