Saturday, September 17, 2011

The Zombie I Almost Dated in High School

It was bound to happen I suppose. You live through a zombie apocalypse, I guess it stands to reason that sooner or later you're going to run across some long lost friend or acquaintance in zombie form. This was a girl I knew back in high school--I probably would have asked her out if I had been a normal sort of kid who actually asked girls out in high school. I'll not mention her name to protect the innocent. Besides, what if this message really is going back in time and she sees her name and learns that she's not going to survive?

I'm surprised I recognized her, actually. I guess it was the sunken eyes. She always wore way too much eyeliner in high school, so she had kind of an undead look to begin with (I thought it was really sexy at the time). We had a few classes together and I always kind of liked her, although I can't for the life of me remember why. I hadn't thought of her in more than a decade though, so it's kind of surprising that I recognized her--I saw her in the home depot when I went to get some more solder in case I need to do more work on the solar panels. She'd gained a few pounds, which I guess we all had before the zombie apocalypse hit. She looked older, too, and a bit decayed. She also had a big chunk missing from her neck and some big old blood splotches all over her clothes. I was stunned. Shawn wasn't. He pretty much liquefied her with the 12 gauge before I even had time to remember when I had seen her last. He always had a way with women.

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